Distance is Daring

There's nothing more frustrating than having your doubts. In my eyes, it's a sickness. Its only cure is proof, or gratification. I think it's extremely frustrating and can ruin just about anything.

Being in a long distance relationship is a perfect example of doubtful thinking. We often question the longevity, as well as the quality of the relationship. Sure, that happens with any standard relationship. But long distance ones come with more pain and sacrifice.

You think, what if there's someone else? Or, what if I put all this time and effort into this person, only to find out that there was no purpose in doing so? These questions are haunting and destructive. I try my best to steer clear of that kind of thinking, but it's not without effort.

My mom is the main source of my doubts about my long distance relationship with Gemini. At dinner this evening, she compared him to my father (mind you, they're divorced). Though I was naive as my parents' relationship came to an end, I was able to see what was...off about the relationship. Not to throw my father under the bus, but there are certain (negative) qualities that he has. And they stand out. My mother described my boyfriend with those qualities.

It scared the crap out of me.

But there was a justification for every negative aspect she pointed out. Were those really justifications? Or am I just blinded by love and pulling excuses out of my throat to save Gemini? I think they were justifications. Besides, my mother and I have different outlooks on life and social interactions with others.

Another thing that's terrible is when people say, "It's never going to work out between you two. Long distance relationships never work." Alright, people. Don't think I don't see the challenge that lies ahead. Believe me, I do. So stop rubbing it in, because you only make it harder for me to keep my eyes on the prize.

Though I am determined to work at this relationship. I know my limits and priorities. Gemini just happens to be one of them.