It's Not Fair

It's not fair that I don't get to see Gemini as often as I'd like. I hate it so much. Don't get me wrong. I'm not going to retreat from the relationship. We have strong communication skills with each other and I greatly appreciate that. But it's so hard to go so long without seeing him.

I made a mistake early in our relationship. And with that mistake I learned how easy it was to lie to him because of the distance. I hated myself for how I treated Gemini and I still don't forgive myself. But, Gemini could so easily do it to me. Let's say he gets lonely where he is. He won't be seeing me so much, but he's got plenty of lady friends locally. What he could do with them is heartbreaking. 

Of course, he tells me that I'm his one and only. He says he'd never do it. I believe him. But it's not without effort. Besides, people are always changing. He may love me so passionately now, but with time, he may get bored and lonely and impatient. And then Sascha's tossed aside.

I don't know. These thoughts occur to me every once in a while. When I talk to him about it, he reassures me as usual. But, there's always that paranoia.