Sorry For Ranting

I just can't stand when people always have to play the victim. It makes me so angry. When will they grow up and take responsibility for themselves? I have a friend who's ex just keeps hounding him. He's incredibly heartbroken and this girl keeps complaining when she's the one messing up. She's got all these different people ganging up on my buddy, telling him to back off. It's unfair.

She's amazingly stoic and cold. Somehow, my friend sees warmth in her and I guess that's fine. I don't know the girl personally. But I know she's got my friend stuck in Karpman's Drama Triangle. My friend is the persecutor, she's the victim, and everyone who's defending her are the rescuers.

It's a hard web to break and I've been pushing my friend to just drop it all. She's obviously not worth this trouble (the kid loses sleep, gets headaches and stomach aches, all for an ungrateful, indecisive girl). I don't understand why he can't see it. But if he doesn't leave, this triangle will remain. And it's the triangle of all dysfunctional relationships. And sometimes I see the roles change, pulling me into the triangle. My friend is the victim, his ex is the persecutor, and I become the rescuer.

I don't have a problem with that. It becomes tedious to keep spoon feeding my friend, for him to just spit my advice up and let it dribble down his chin. I don't know. I just want what's best for him.

Even if he can't see it in 20/20 vision.

Two Weeks Into the New Year

I think the first two weeks of the year went by both quickly and slowly. I've been deprived of sleep, studying my butt off, and kind of just lying around. Nothing's changed...at all. I'm still the lazy, goofy, curious girl I was December 31st, 2011. But so far into the year, I guess I could note a positive and a negative.

I painted my room. It went from this...boring light blue, to yellow and purple. (When most people hear the color choice, they cringe. But trust me, the combination is beautiful.) I also got a new bed set, thanks to my mother. It's purple as well. My favorite color ever. 

It felt good changing up my room. I had posted a status on Facebook just before we started painting my walls: New year, new room. And it felt true, once we were finished. There were so many negative feelings I associated with those light blue walls. Now they're hidden below the purple and I can almost start fresh. 

Another plus, I'm currently writing a story and I feel good about this one. Most of my personal writing projects go to waste, as I toss them aside constantly. But this one, I refuse to give up on. There are so many elements that I have to sort out. It involves a lot of my thinking and I love it. So, maybe for once, I'll finish a full novel. (Obviously I can't expect to finish one in a year.) 

And the only negative I'm willing to share: 

I took my geometry midterm on Friday. As I have an A in that class, I'm still afraid that my grade will drop to a B from that midterm... Doesn't seem like too big a deal. But I'm striving for straight A's. All next week, I'll be taking exams for everyone of my other classes (in which I have all A's in). I'm hoping that I keep them A's. 

That's been my year so far. I'm just hoping for a stable rest of the year. Though that won't happen because Life wouldn't allow that. Best of luck to everyone else. 

A Troubling Start

2011 was definitely ended with a bang. To get to the point, my dog, Angie, attacked "Jenny." Right in the face. There was lots of blood and tears and guilt. While there were smaller scratches on her nose and around it, her upper lip needed stitches.

This was at three in the morning, New Year's Eve. And I felt awful about it. There was a whole bunch of "If only's" running through my mind the entire night. If only I hadn't invited her to sleep over tonight. If only I had waited until tomorrow to see her. 


I ended up going to the hospital with her and her mother. On the way there, we were rear-ended. It was very minor, leaving less than a scratch to the car. We were at the hospital from 5 A.M. to 9:30 A.M. And it didn't help that the biggest party of the year was that night. I didn't get much sleep at all before having to get ready to go see some family.

Then there was another problem after waking up from my nap. I got extremely sick. Let's just say the toilet and I became best friends. My mom told me it was because I was so shaken from the all the events of the night. After I started feeling better, my mom came up to me, tears streaming down my face, telling me that Jenny's father wants us to get rid of my dog. I lost my appetite, my will to move, or think of anything other than my dog.

Anyone who is not family and knows my dog knows that she's vicious. So they might not agree with what I've got to say about Angie. Despite her breed, shih tzu/mini poodle, she's quite the biter. But she's just an angel to my family and I.

*Cue the cliche lines of affection and drama*

I can't lose that dog. She's more than a dog to me. I love her like she's a daughter. She sleeps with me, keeps me company when I'm home alone or relaxing in my bedroom. (I'm going to sound like a crazy animal lady) Sometimes I pretend she's listening to me and I just tell her what's bothering me. There's so much personality in that little dog. And I love her so much.

So, yeah. I didn't plan on posting so soon after the last one. But I thought that I should just write down all that's happened in the last few hours while the memory is fresh. I hope that you all had a great end to 2011. Because I sure as hell didn't.