Ugh.

It's almost been a month since I've last posted. I've been urged to. But, I didn't know what to write about. Well, now I do.

Maturity. Maybe even common sense. I don't know what to call it. There's just a lot going on in my mind.

A lot of kids at my age claim they're mature. It bothers me when they say it and then act like a child. I mean, c'mon, you're in high school...grow up. As I write this, I have a specific person in mind, though I'll keep their name hidden. We'll call her Jenny.

Jenny is easily manipulated. She's putty in any one's hands. I've watched as she's become molded into various shapes and forms. It's okay to change with time. But not because of someone else. Jenny believes anything anyone says--especially boys.

She let's boys come and go like the days of the week. Currently, she's making out with guys with absolutely no feelings attached. She does it to keep her occupied. She's bored, so she kisses guys. Not only is that wrong, but how do you physically show affection to someone you have no feelings for?

I'm kind of jealous.

Not of the kissing thing. She has another friend. She constantly rubs in my face how "awesome" and "adventurous" this girl is. Not only is that girl "adventurous" but a lot of the time she's breaking the law. Jenny wishes I was more like this girl. You know, I'd really like to keep a clean record, thank you very much.

I'm that kind of friend who mothers and looks out for others. I understand that Jenny has to make her own mistakes. But I only believe that to a point. Just today she told me, "Sascha, I have the biggest urge to get drunk."

So let's go over the list.

Jenny is:

1. Easily manipulated.
2. Hanging out with a juvenile delinquent.
3. She's making out with random guys.
4. She wants to start drinking.

May I remind you that we're high schoolers. And...No high schooler is 21 or older.

I worry for her. I know I'm not the most exciting of people (I'd rather stay home, watch movies, read, write) but all the activities that Jenny wants me to engage in are super illegal!

I also feel like I've outgrown her. The things she says to me these days are all pointless and meaningless. She talks endlessly about "having fun" (illegal fun). She wants to bring air horns to school with her adventurous friend to "f**k s**t up." I really can't stand it.

Jenny always said that she wouldn't be that way. But, now that the opportunity has come up, she's taking it.



This post is totally unorganized, but that's how it is in my mind right now. Ugh...