Freedom!

I know that in a previous post I said that I had ended whatever I had going with a certain guy. Well...I lied. I was just being paranoid, so I blogged about it. But, everything was okay between him and me. Now, today is different.

I ended our "thing."

I'm not gonna lie, I feel like total crap. But, I actually had the balls to leave him. In a weird way, it's boosted my confidence; I don't need him. I was the one who independently walked away. Through the tears and despair, there's a smile, because I know I did what I thought I couldn't accomplish.

Me and this guy had an "unofficial" relationship. He used to call me every night, text me all day, visit me frequently, etc. But then, as time went on, he no longer put forth any effort to contact me. I was the one who'd have to reach out to him. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe it takes two to tango.

I think the worst part of this situation is its ending. I told him how I felt (neglected, used, etc.) and all he had to say was: K.

I nearly laughed. It was as if he was purposely trying to make me feel worse (I don't really know if those were his intentions. I hope not, but I won't start feeding my mind hurtful ideas). I'll miss this guy so very much. He's unforgettable and he was truly a beautiful person. He was just lost and had his own problems to deal with. And in my opinion, he definitely doesn't have his priorities straight.

I feel freed. I'm no longer checking my phone every hour in hopes of a text message from him. I no longer have to worry about that. It's summertime, I've got a big trip coming up with my best friend, and then sophomore year starts. I'm gonna leave this crap behind me and move forward, because that's the only thing to do.

There's something bitter about this freedom. But, I'm looking forward to the self-improvement and new-found wisdom it brings.