Lost

I don't even know where to begin.

I just know there's something wrong with me. Inside, I don't feel right. Never before had I been so...annoying. I'm so concerned with earning the attention of the one's I love. A moment alone is what I've been avoiding. Because if I have a moment to myself, I sink. My mind begins to race with paranoia and insecurity.

This person I've become, it doesn't feel like me. And I keep looking within myself, trying to piece it all together. I come up with nothing. I've been feeling this way for months and I'd dismiss it. But as time inches on, the sensation becomes more conspicuous. It's scaring me, making me so much more anxious.

Where did I go? I used to be so relaxed, happy-go-lucky, confident. All of that's fading, slowly but surely. I kept telling Jenny how proud I was of myself, that I felt good and strong. What's happening now? I'm feeding off of everyone else's energy, depending on them to hold me up. And when they're all gone, I'm at an all time low.

Who am I now? I desperately want my old self back. The one who could trust others and communicate well. But where did she go? She's lost.